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1. What's a Guy need to know about sex? Here is something you may not know. When it comes to sex, guys and girls are wired differently from birth. As a guy, you probably think about sex a lot. When you are attracted to a girl, sex probably crosses your mind.
Females don't see sex the way males do. They don't think about it much at all. When they meet a guy, they think romantically, not sexually. They want a guy who will listen to them, value their thoughts and ideas, and care about them as a person. They are looking for an emotional connection with the promise of a lasting relationship.
Guys do a lot of talking and bragging about sex. But, many guys aren't comfortable with the pressure of being sexually active. By the way sex is shown on TV and in the movies, you would think that all guys want sex - any time, anywhere, from any girl. In fact, in a study of 500 teens, 55% of the boys who had sex wish they had waited.
Did you know that when you are sexually active you are at risk for a STD infection and getting a girl pregnant? What you may not know is that it affects your ability to bond emotionally. It's like tape that is stuck to skin over and over and loses stickiness. If you hope to marry, your ability to emotionally bond with your mate is the key to a good and lasting marriage.
Abstinence until marriage isn't just for girls. Lots of guys are saying, "No", so that when they marry they will be disease free, kid free and emotionally healthy.
A Guy's Character:
The whole question of premarital sex really boils down to a character issue - its about your character. True, having premarital sex these days is dangerous. Your odds of getting a disease are very high. But, there is more to it than just that. Guys were designed to be far more than just sex machines.
A guy with character respects girls. He values a girl based on traits he appreciates in her. He doesn't see girls as "sex objects" as many guys do. Character in a guy means he will work hard now for something important to him in the future. That's what sexual character is all about. A guy with character knows that it takes self control now to say, "No",Saying "No", will have it's rewards in the future. You, too, can take this ability into a marriage. You will also have the knowledge that you are not bringing disease to your partner in marriage. And the truth is that the very best sex will always be with your wife, your friend, and your lover all rolled into one person you can cherish for a lifetime.
Facts:
2. My girlfriend is pregnant, what are our options?
If you would like to discuss your options, please call or come by to see us. The most loving choices are to parent or make an adoption plan for your baby.
3. How can I learn how to be a Dad to my child?
You can attend parenting classes that will teach you how to really love your child. You can learn basic parenting skills in dealing with your child's behavior. Also, you will learn what kind of person you are and learn to be the best parent for your child.
4. My girlfriend had an abortion, now I feel bad. Help?
Dealing with grief and guilt can be overwhelming. Once the abortion has taken place, males may require as much emotional support as females. For either sex, the loss of a child is a loss like none other. Guilt and grief can be tenacious, and they cannot be willed away.
One of the best remedies for guilt is the bright light of self-disclosure. Talking about old unfinished business helps clear up guilt and has been known to generate small miracles.
Another aid to resolving guilt is to simply acknowledge that there is a huge storehouse of unfinished emotional business. This act of acknowledgement itself lightens up the individual considerably because it lets him stop pretending. He can then also acknowledge the pain felt at the time.
Resistance to feelings, not the feelings themselves, is often the major portion of the problem. When feelings are opened up and allowed to be felt deeply, they can bring knowledge. The full expression of these feelings may last only minutes, but a freer, more self-accepting individual results.
Reconciliation of the death of one's unborn child ultimately involves the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness for abortion flows from being willing to know the truth and tell the truth. To grow is to forgive oneself no matter the degree or nature of the mistake.
Unfortunately, people often get stuck in trying to forgive before they accept their own feelings exactly as they are. Thinking that they should or must forgive, and attempting forgiveness, prevents them from actuallly experiencing it.
5. Marriage?
Many young people don't realize that marriage is really an option in a crisis pregnancy. Couples that marry in their teen years because of a crisis pregnancy often enjoy a great deal of happiness. So don't rule out the possibility of marriage even if everyone else seems to think it's not a good idea.
Getting married means that your baby has the benefit of their father's name and income. In cases of separation, mothers who were married often are more successful in establishing child support and paternal grandparent involvement than the non-married. Of course marriage requires that both individuals want to be joined in this union. At our center we can help both you and the father of your baby understand this option and the benefits it can bring to both your lives.
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